Sep 20, 2011

Sorry for the inactivity...

I just had a rough week. My GF went to America to work 3 and a half months ago. We loved eachother very much. But because of the time difference (7h) and because she worked very much (15h/day), our relationship got cold, and died this week. In 16 days she will come home, but she doesn't love me anymore. The lack of communication killed this relationship. And not only that, there was the thing that USA is so much different than any European country, and she fell in love with America... The people there behave differently, life there is different, so she will go back next year too, for 9 months, and then, maybe stay there forever. She wants to start a new life there, alone and from scratch... I belive she is blinded by the American Dream. It's her first experience with work, and it pays ok, so she thinks she can manage now on her own...

She is too stubborn to give this relationship another and last try... If it won't work at least i will know for sure. She is too blinded by America and probably thinks I will pull her back..
I really can't do anything else than give her some time after she will come home, and hope for her to forget a little bit about America, "come back to earth", and hope that she will miss me, miss our relationship, that lasted 7 years (I am 23, she is 21) - we broke up 2 years ago, and after half a year she called me that she missed me.
I have a "plan". To go to her (she lives in another city) and spend some time with her (2-3 days) as a friend. Talk about what she did there, what I did here, go watch a movie, maybe grab something to eat, etc. as friends. That way 1 of 2 things may happen:
1. I will realize she has changed and stop loving her, also realize that I can be with her only as a friend. So I can let go.
2. She will realize that she loved me very much and all she was feeling in USA was not real, and we get back together.
Or the 3rd possibility, that I want to avoid at all cost, is that: I will still feel the same about her, and she still won't miss me after the 2-3 days.

All I want is a nice breakup (at least that's what I think I want).
It was hard for me when I fist got the news, but now the healing process has started. Friends help a lot.
I can tell you guys that she REALLY really loved me all this time (while she was home, for 7 years). Why do I still love her and she doens't? Simple, I live by the same daily schedule every day... same boring day for me, and think a lot about her because I have nothing else to do. While she is in a totally different country, free of parents and all new experience also has some college friends there (renting same house, 3 more students from her University). So far she isn't seeing anyone. She works too much.

So far, our relationship is over... possibly forever...
...However, IF we get back together, I will go to America with her...


SQ said...

Good luck there, buddy. I bet she will turn around.

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